This is some thing that I found in my scraps folder on my hard drive… I think that it must have been inspired by a contest that Weird Tales magazine held:
March 6, 1925
Dear Sir,
I am writing this letter to you in the hopes that it finds you in the greatest of moods. The news that my mail carries to your promised ears is to be the news that is good to us all. Before I ramble on in my own way let me take a time to introduce myself, I am Hutulc Thanafg, a former ambassador’s son of most upstanding. My father has passed on to the world of the beyond; he puffs his pipe with the spirits of the land. In this death he has left me the key to the thing which you call that thing which shall not be named. I am sure that you have heard of this and I need not mention any more the import of what it is that I am saying. This provides us with an opportunity of unequaled providence. I only need some bits of information before I can engage you in a time that will be unforgettable to you and your family.
I trust in you that the key to that which is unnameable will be guarded with all your appendages. Without this I can not promise to you that the deal that we will enter will be a wonderful deal for you. As I made mention of earlier, all I need is some details of your home address, bank post information, and the location of your first born son. With this information in hand I can make post haste the arrangements to have the key sent to you across the expanse of the ocean. It is hard for me to imagine losing sight of the key but your name has been recommended to me by those in the positions of the highest standing in my country. I know that you will not do anything other than protect the key until my imminent arrival in the United States. For this small favor I offer to you the sum of $5 million dollars to be deposited in the account linked from the information requested above.
Looking forward to your fondest reply,
Hutulc Thanafg
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March 16, 1925
Mr Thanafg,
How can I let this opportunity pass me by? Please find enclosed the details that you requested. If you need anything else please write me as soon as you can. I am waiting.
Patiently Yours,
H.A. Wilcox
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March 21, 1925
Sir Wilcox,
With this letter the key that was mentioned before shall be found. Please guard it and let it not from your sight.
Graciously yours,
Hutulc
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March 24, 1925
Hutulc,
What I have done? How can I right the wrongs of my curious ways? Hutulc, it is only you that I can turn to in this darkest hour. Please help me…
HAW
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April 3, 1925
Foolish Mortal,
You have failed. Your ancestors will rue the day that you used that key to unleash my indescribable horror. I will escape this dark continent and claim the flesh of your children and the wilted flower of your wife as my own.
Hutulc
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